Still Working On That?

You know when you're at a restaurant and you've been eating for a while but you're almost done (but you're not quite done) and the waiter / waitress comes up and gives you the shruggy shoulders and the squinchy face and asks, "are you still working on that?" I don't like that.

First, one doesn't work on a meal. One works on a paper or a construction project or a particularly aggressive poop. One doesn't work on a meal.

But second, just stay a few feet away and watch to see if I'm still "working on it." If I don't go back to it, then just take the damn thing. I'll either stop you or not -- we don't need to have a meeting about it.

Although, if we did have a meeting about it, I could type up the meeting notes and then send them to you and ask for your feedback, and if you took longer than 30 seconds I could amble up to you and ask you if you were "still working on that." Because I'm just that type of jackass.

Men's White Unilens Sunglasses

Dear Chad,

That's your name, right? Chad? I assumed, because you're wearing white sunglasses. And the sunglasses are unilens. I didn't even realize that there was such a term as "unilens" until I began researching these abominations. But alas, there is a term for these and it is "unilens."

Chad, I'm going to level with you. These glasses are terrible and they taint my entire opinion of you. For just a moment, try to imagine these on a person who isn't a douche. Can't be done, Chad. Can't be done. And if you're wearing them, then, by the transitive property, you must be a douche too. QED.

It's not just the white frames (which suck). It's the extra lens in the middle. Why do you need lens in the middle of your forehead? For your bindi? That can't be it because you're not an Indian Woman, Chad. You're an American Douche.

You bug me, Chad. You and your white unilens sunglasses and your tribal tattoos and your yellow truck. You. Bug. Me.

Yours in disdain,
Peter

Top 3 Things that bother me

1.radio ads

2. TV ads

3. Babies that "flirt"

This is a blog about pet peeves. Leah, Harrison, Lori and Peter were out at dinner griping about all the random things that bother them, and decided it would be fun to start a blog. Please respond, and chime in about the little things in life that bother you. We hope there are others who are as curmudgeonly as we are.